Why We Do This

If you haven’t already read our story, please go back to that link and read it first. Now that you know some of the history of our lives and the challenges we’ve faced along the way, you might be wondering why we would choose to vicariously experience other people’s heartache and loss as well as our own.

  • Connector.

    We've Discovered...

    One of the reasons why we do this, is we've discovered along the way is that healing comes through helping others.

Something amazing happened for us when we gave beyond what we thought we were capable of giving. Over time, we realized that we’d stopped focusing on our own troubles and we recognized that we were not the only ones in the world with deep hurt. Giving to others has also strengthened our marriage.

We want to strongly emphasize that you must first go through your own grieving process and fully experience all the phases of grief up to and including acceptance before you can begin to reach out to others. If you don’t, you will simply be avoiding dealing with your own wounds and they will never have the opportunity to heal. We also want to emphasize for those of you that are married that you cannot ignore one another’s needs by reaching out past your partner and seeking to serve others. Your first responsibility is to draw close to one another and face the incredibly scary task of experiencing one another’s deepest feelings. Hopefully, you’re not learning how to do this with the loss of a child, but don’t be afraid to ask for help from people you trust: close friends, family or a pastor or counselor.

Once you’ve reached some point of acceptance of your loss, in order to move forward you must reach out beyond the circle of your own life and look for opportunities to touch others with compassion. Not only does this help to complete the cycle of healing, but it takes you to the next level of personal growth. Opportunities to help are all around you if you simply open your eyes: from helping a single mom to visiting an elderly person to mentoring a young man or woman who has no one else in their lives.

The journey of healing really never ends, but changes over time as you grow in wisdom and grace.